I was beside myself!! I could not believe it! He had been good friends with her. The two had spent quality time together and shared moments of vulnerability, pain, and laughter. And here in an instant, two other work colleagues deceivingly convinced him that she was using him to get a promotion that she wanted at the hospital. Without asking her or standing on what he knew from their relationship, he chose to believe them, and quickly dismissed who had been his trusted friend. And just as fast, she stumbled off stunned and wounded. I was nothing less than infuriated as I witnessed the scenario actually play out in front of my very own eyes.
Ok, I sheepishly admit, my family and I were watching a Hallmark movie last night. I was all in, gloves on, dialoguing with the TV screen in the last moments of this romance. What makes me even more upset is that she still went back to him. He could not have groveled enough for me to pardon what had just happened (alright, maybe that is a blog post on forgiveness and grace for another time).
The purpose behind the Who Told You That? blog was to challenge false thinking about ourselves, OTHERS, and God. We probably have all felt the sting of pain from a failed friendship or relationship that died due to lies told about us or misunderstanding. I will always be baffled at how some people are able to believe others over the history and track record of a solid relationship. We see it in families, friendships, churches, work groups, etc. Ok, well basically anywhere human beings congregate.
Let me emphasize that I am talking about lies – not truth. Because with certainty, I do hurt those I love around me. If I am in a relationship with someone for more than a day, I will have an opportunity to say sorry and have to make things right. (Just refer back to my previous post on “Me and My Big Mouth” for further details).
I’m a big believer in “Love rejoices when the truth wins out.” 1 Corinthians 13:6 NLT. As I want people in my world to never have to wonder about where we stand in our relationship, I have made some personal rules that I live by:
- What I believe about others will be based on my experience with them or what God says about them. NOT what someone else says. I stand firm on that
- If I hear something contradictory to what I know about someone close and have cause for concern, I will either dismiss the comment completely or approach the close friend about it…if necessary.
- Regardless of whether what is said is true or not, I need to choose to walk in love and forgiveness as Christ has instructed me to (yes, this is sometimes a continual commitment that I have to make).
- I will not avoid a person because of what someone else said about them.
- I have to ask myself why a person would feel they could share something with me that is trying to create division in another relationship I have. Especially if they are not willing or aiming to see this relationship healed, saved, or mended. Whose character should actually be questioned?
- Reconciliation is always the goal and it may mean I need to apologize for something.
- Situations are often not as they appear through my wounded, exhausted, or any other filter that I may perceive them through. If it appears negative, I need to challenge my perception.
- I will not be a person who speaks that lie about another person. God help me.
I just want you to know that I think you are great! You should be happy to know that no one could convince me otherwise.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 The Passion Translation (TPT)
Love is large and incredibly patient. Love is gentle and consistently kind to all. It refuses to be jealous when blessing comes to someone else…Love is not easily irritated or quick to take offense. Love joyfully celebrates honesty and finds no delight in what is wrong. Love is a safe place of shelter, for it never stops believing the best for others.